Friday, January 18, 2008

The return of an old friend

An old friend showed up on Wednesday evening completely unannounced. I haven't seen her in two years and I wasn't entirely thrilled that she's decided to show up after so long. Our relationship wasn't always this way. I met her when I was 14 and I was so excited. Most of my friends had met her long before me and I had actually been jealous. I can remember checking several times a day to see if she had decided to befriend me too. In fact, now that I think about it, I lied when I was 13 and told everyone that I knew her too.

Back then, she never made me feel fat or tired me out. She didn't complicate my life or cause me to start keeping a calendar and a thermometer by my bed until I had a chance to get to the doctors. No, back then life went on as usual, only I was suddenly more sophisticated and worldly. Her friendship made me a woman, ROAR!

Okay, more seriously, I throw this question out to the blogosphere. Just about all of my friends use the pill for birth control. I can't take it. It makes me more of a lunatic than usual. I've been on every dose and version of it. I HATE THE PILL. So if the pill is not an option, what do you use?

Do you have any thought on IUD's? My midwife suggested one after Grace was born. When I told my mom that I was considering it, she freaked. She thinks that it causes spontaneous abortion. I did a lot of reading and this doesn't seem to be completely true. My interpretation of the literature is that IUD's prevent fertilization and if it fails to do this, it makes the uterus a "hostile" environment for the fertilized egg. I don't know how I feel about that. Thoughts?

I understand that some people may feel that this is too private to discuss here. If you're not comfortable leaving a comment but have any thoughts for me, please send me an email. I'd really appreciate it.


mindi said...

I'm with you on the no pill thing. I just can't take it, after I had my oldest son my body reacts something AWFUL to it. But I have an issue with the hostile environment as well with an IUD. For me that borders on abortion, because a life is there, and the birth control takes it away. But that's just my personal opinion!!
We use NFP - which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. Lex proved that :)
If we aren't having any more we're going to do something permanent. We just haven't made that decision quite yet. And I have a while before we have to make it :)

Sara Mincy said...

You crack me really do! I am with you on the pill- it makes me CRAZY!!!!

We have not really found anything that we love, or that I feel strongly enough to recommend at this point in our lives, sorry I am not much help. I just pester my husband every day to go get the big V....

Anonymous said...

I'm a bad one to ask, but I will give my opinion. The pill makes me crazy and fat and because I'm crazy and have the tendency to be fat on my own, I don't need the pill for that.

Yea, we don't use anything.

Just the "P...O...Method".

so, we'll see for how long that works.

I'd freak if I had any inclining that a pill or a contraceptive was close to aborting a child. Oye.

Monica said...

Keep reading, keep researching, keep praying...We struggled with this issue from day one. I was on the pill with my first two and got pregnant while on that. Obviously, I needed a stronger hormone dose or something:) But I was still uneasy about the pill's effects on me and a possible embryo.

In the end, we ended up being at peace with natural family planning. There is a course out there somewhere that you can attend. We did not take it, but I got a hold of the curriculum and we went through it on our own. It really spelled things out clearly and answered our many questions.

I guess as Christians we really need to define "when does life begin"? To whom does this life belong? What are my responsibilities to preserve life? And then to take a close look at each of these birth control methods and their actions on our bodies and the baby.

I have to say, though, that my least favorite commercial of all time is the one for the patch. The beautiful, "successful" woman says,"Now I don't have that nagging voice every day..." (telling her to take the pill). The world treats children with such disdain as though their purpose in life is to ruin our plans. If they only knew.

Tirzah said...

I hate the pill also. It bothers me that this subject seems so hard to get a clear answer to. Doctors also have their own world view and I always feel like the information from them is tilted. I would like to do natural family planning but I think I would just get prego on that. SO we are left with condoms which work fine for us. But I have known woman to get pregnant on all forms of BC (except no sex:)) In the end I dont think any thing is hurt from talking about this and seeking whats right for you guys.
PS I am a friend of Andrea H in StL

Heather said...

My friend hasn't returned yet (woowee!!) and our baby is almost 8 months. I love nursing for that reason (among many).

We opted for a tubal after her birth, so no more pills for me. I did research previously into the IUD, now called IUC(for contraception). They've come a long way since your mom's time. The newer one are much better. They seem to be a good option.

It is a personal decision - I hope you can come to a peace about it, whatever you decide.

BTW, I'm enjoying your blog.

Bethany said...

Hey Sarah,
You lucky girl. Sheesh my friend came back New Years eve...only 6 months...but it came back at 3 and 4 with the boys. I guess I am just fertile myrtle because I nurse like crazy and always get it.

On the IUD. I will email you. I remember talking about it in anatomy class. I wouldn't recommend it....especially knowing you.

Saralyn said...

While this is a rather odd topic to make one's debut as a newbie commenter on your blog, I feel it's one of great importance. I was on the pill early on in our marriage until a friend gave me Randy Alcorn's book about the ways different bc methods work--see the Eternal Perspectives website at
for more information.

While society sees children as burdens, tools, or toys, depending on the situation at hand, God calls them gifts, blessings, and heritages.

Zoanna said...

This post and these comments make me cry and feel crazy and warm and tender and ...whoa! It's like estrogen overload at the computer!

I would stay away from the IUD/IUC, whatever, just because I am very leary about putting some unnatural into my body. I've not heard good things about them.
I used to work in a pregnancy center and every bc method had its downsides. Least risky may be the
diaphragm. I only wish that I had not used any of it because I assumed that as soon as I wanted a baby, I could go stop bc and get pregnant. It didn't happen that way. I tried for 5 years, had 2 miscarriages in 3 years, tried for 2 more years. Finally had a baby, but oh what heartache I brought upon myself for thinking when I had three kids, "not another one will I'm good and ready." I cry when I think of how selfish I was, as if kids were a burden all the time. Far from the truth. I wish now I had 6 or 8.

Pregnancy, while not always fun or planned, far outweighed bc methods. Don't take for granted that because conception has happened easily before that it'll be easy again. Maybe, maybe not.

Sarah said...

Hi ladies. Thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. Your words have confirmed what I was feeling in my heart.

Getting pregnant the first time was difficult. The short version is I only ovulated 2-3 times that entire year. We had a fertility consult and were planning to start treatment on a Thursday and on Sunday I found out that I was pregnant. I have no idea what my body will do now that it's had babies. I was told that it might be more normal. It only took 2 months to get pregnant with Grace...

All this to say, NFP is my preference, but when you are a girl who doesn't ovulate with any kind of regularity, it's hard to do. I guess the chances of getting pregnant go down too :)

I think that what I was wrestling with concerning the IUD is the very small percentage of eggs that actually become fertilized. I don't remember exactly, but it was a very low #. However, I firmly believe that life begins at conception and if there is a chance that I could conceive, I will not use a birth control method that would terminate that pregnancy.

Thanks to everyone who provided information on the pill. I had never heard that it too could cause abortion. It breaks my heart that we live in a society that is so indifferent to human life. After I got married, the clinic I went to for a diaphragm (which I hated...I'll spare you the details) wouldn't let me leave without taking a prescription for the morning after pill. I was adamant that I didn't want it but they informed me that it was their policy to give tit to EVERY woman who came into see them. The nurse looked at me and said, "What if you and your husband get cought up in the heat of the moment and in the morning you realize that it's a bad time for you? What if you just started a new job, or your plan is not to have children for three years. THis is no big deal, it's very convenient." I took her prescription, told her exactly what I thought and ripped it up in front of her.

THis incident really upset me because I believe that a lot of woman will take her words as truth. It is a big deal...

Thanks to all who reminded me that children are blessings, gifts and our heritage. Sad, but I needed to remember that. All that being said, I think we'll wing it..that's what my heart is telling me to do. Beth and I will both be pregnant very soon :)

michelle said...

I'm throwing my two cents in a little late, but thought this was worth sharing...(sarah, we have talked about this before)
A great aid to NFP (our choice method) - is the VCF, Vagianl contraceptive film. It's basically a spermacide tab that is inserted over the cervix and dissolves like a Listerine strip. My midwife introduced it to me after my first baby. At the time you needed a Rx, but now it's over the counter. You insert it 5-15 min pre-act and it's good for an hour and decreases the chance of pregnancy by 94%. For those who hate condoms, but are getting close to ovulation week, or don't know when that week is - it's a really good aid. Better then winging it and it seems to have worked for us!

Andi said...

I hate the pill as well. I was on it for a few months when I first got married & felt horrible. So, we went for condoms. I couldn't do an IUD- I don't like the idea of something foreign hanging out in my body.

Beth said...

I was on the pill when my husband and I were first married. There was buzz going around our church about birth control methods. I decided to do some research of my book being The Contraception Guide Book:Options, Risks, and Answers for Christian Couples. This was pretty helpful to me. In the end, your decision is between you, your husband, and God. We decided against anything and used Natural Family Planning. I would recommend finding a class or something on this. There are many who it has worked like a charm, well, I guess that's how we came to have 3 kids in three years. They are truly a blessing though and I wouldn't have done it any other way. God has a sense of humor! Good luck.