Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Dear Half and Half,

It hurts me to write this letter. It's not been an easy decision to make, but I'm afraid that it has to be done. We're done. Finished. Over forever. You will never grace the shelves of my fridge or make my morning cups of coffee sooooo delicious again.

You're sneaky. I think I always knew this, but for the last three years, I chose to turn a blind eye. You came into my life when I was vulnerable. I was a new mom. I was tired and emotional. My judgement was impaired. I had you at a friends house and I wanted more. You were so much more satisfying than skim milk. Such a simple pleasure. I loved you and I was willing to ignore how bad you are. What harm could come of it? Who would I hurt?

Three years later, I'm suffering. (I know that it's not entirely your fault, but I can't break up with brownies, chocolate chip cookies and ice cream all at the same time. I'm just not strong enough.) You are so good that I have you three times in the morning and once in the afternoon. Even worse, I use twice the suggested amount. It's reckless and it has to stop. It's time for me to take an honest look at myself and start making better choices.

Don't try to change my mind. I called you sneaky earlier, and I meant it. In one delicious 2 tablespoon serving, you pack a whopping 40 calories and 3.5 grams of fat. Let's face it, having only 2 tablespoons of you is like eating a half cup of ice cream, nobody does it. It's not possible!

By ending our relationship I discovered that I will be eliminating 320 calories and 28 grams of fat from my diet each day. Over the course of a week that's 2,240 calories and 196 grams of fat*. During a 30 day month? 9,600 calories and 840 grams of fat. In a year? 116,800 calories and 10,220 grams of fat. So you are gone. You're done. I don't think I can go back to skim milk just yet, but even if I use whole milk I'll still be saving 170 calories and 20 grams of fat every single day**.

It was fun while it lasted and I will miss you. Please don't be upset if we see each other at Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts and I ignore you. This is what works for me.

Sarah

*These figures are based on a caffeine fiend like myself who drinks at least four cups of coffee a day with about 4 tablespoons of half and half in each cup. I know this is a lot. Even if you drink less, I would encourage you to pay attention to how much you pour (dump, if you're like me) into your mug. Play with the numbers, you might be surprised.

**I will not use fat free half and half because they put corn syrup solids (whatever that is), artificial color and sugar in it. Gross.

14 comments:

Melissa Markham said...

I love the way you wrote this post. Reminds me of those directv commercials where the parents tell the violent program characters that they are going to start blocking them.

Good luck!

Michelle said...

Holy Junk! When I first started reading I was like "Oh, poor Sarah, giving up Half and Half... Not me though." Then I got to calorie/fat math. I'm not typically afraid of either, my focus being on staying away from processed foods and increasing fruits/veggies, but you can't ignore those numbers. I'd always thought I was doing well because I never did those International (sugar and chemical infested) Creamers. Hm, might have to take another look...

Trina said...

Hey, I am here via RIMD WFFW.

I LOVE creamer and I am fasting coffee right now. Which has been hard but I don't know if I miss the coffee or the creamer more! I love creamer! My frig at home has at least 8 bottles in it and it's not being used!

I didn't think there was anything wrong with the FF/Sugar free versions. What's a creamer-lovin girl to do!!

The Roaming Southerner said...

Very funny post! definately a good way to say good bye to an old friend. I have tried with my old friend diet coke, but it has not happened yet. Lest you think that I am a bad person taking in phenylenlyketonticoshics (stuff that is bad in diet coke) while preggers, I haven't been yet. And that is when I will have to say aurevoi...ariverder...aloha (i can't spell today) to diet coke. Congrats

Heather said...

Great post! I love the way you broke it to Half and Half, firm, but gentle. Good for you!

Melissa Markham said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I have ecome more and more of a visual person as I grow older. It is harder for me to stop and listen. The knitting and crocheting has definitely helped me to focus myself:) Thanks for commenting, you are the only one who did. I fell like the person who passed gas in church...eveyrone must think I am terrible because I can't focus in on a conversation;)

Bethany said...

oh I gave up the flavored creamers...I think over a year ago. Blogged about it. That was hard. Don't know if I could do half n half. Yikes on the calories shame ok you for telling hee hee. As long as I could still have the sugar. So are you doing milk

Phyllis Sommer said...

this is a great post! hilarious. i just haven't given up those flavory coffee creamers...i really should, tho, i know what's in them and yuck!

michelle said...

I'm not usually a half&half girl, but nothing is more satisfying in pregnancy then a cup of decaf with this rich stuff. I debated over it - just today - finally walking out with the fat free stuff. Mine has corn syrup in it, but it's probably one of the only thing I digest with that as a listed ingridient and at 20 calories per serving, well, I think I'm ok with it.

Totallyscrappy said...

Here's hoping you don't run in to the sneaky beast at Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts!!
Thanks for the chuckle,
An avid Diet Pepsi drinker.

Zoanna said...

Very creative. What a hook. I never would have guessed the numbers on half and half, but since I'm a one cup gal by necessity (and it still sends me to the WC 3x/hr) can I ignore it?
Something tells me naaaa.

Sarah said...

Michelle-I don't count calories or fat either. I usually eat what I want in moderation and stay away form processed/fake foods. However, since I still have a good 5 Gracie pounds to lose and have not been able to get back into a good exercise routine, I've decided that I need to get rid of some of the empty calories in my diet...

Bethany-Yup, I'm using whole milk. It's not that bad. I've been buying good coffe, like Pete's...it's strong and still really yummy. Don't think I could drink Folger's without H&H! I remember your flavored creamer post. I was proud of you!

mommastantrum said...

This is GREAT!! I had to break up with Soy earlier this year. (I have developed a late in life dairy allergy) The isoflavones were messing with my lady cycle!! Now I am back to straight espresso or espresso with Hemp Milk. (It is low cal, high in amino acids and vitamins and no bad icky stuff) It took some getting used to, but it was worth it.

Kimberly said...

I use Land-O-Lakes low-fat half and half instead of full fat or fat-free (I try to avoid corn syrup, too). I've never found another brand in my area that has low-fat, and it's good and slightly less naughty.

I loved this post, by the way!