Saturday, December 15, 2007

Wash my mouth out with soap, then please get me a STRONG drink!

This has been one of the longest, hardest weeks ever. I'm starting to think that something is wrong with Grace. She screams constantly. Sam is bored and cranky. I'm tired and I have NO patience left.

I took Sam out to do errands with me this morning. We have a Christmas party tonight, and I just needed a few things to make cookies with and a bottle of wine. The entire trip should have taken twenty minutes, tops. Traffic was horrible though and by the time I had found a place to park, twenty minutes had already passed. Despite the crowded parking lot, we were in and out of the store pretty quickly. Trying to get out of the parking lot proved more challenging. Sam was in the back saying "I want to go home now." over, and over and took more than five minutes just to get into the lane that would take me to the parking lot exit. Another five minutes to get near the main road. I was about four cars away from getting to take a right on red when I noticed a desperate looking man in a SUV trying to make his way into the lane. I felt bad for him. It looked like he might have kids in the back. Were they talking his ear off of or screaming like mine often do? I let him go and then I lost it. He pulled in front of me without a wave and blocked the right on red lane. I couldn't go. I beeped at him, hoping he would back up but the guy wouldn't even look at me. I started to get mad. The light changed and we didn't move. I beeped again, he still wouldn't even look. My blood started boiling. I beeped again. Nothing. I yelled, "Ass hole!" and felt a little better, for a second, until I remembered that Sam was in the back seat.

"Mommy, why did you call that guy an ass hole?"

"Sam, mommy said a very bad word that she shouldn't have said. I'm sorry."

The light changed again and I still didn't move. I thought about getting out and banging on his window but I opted for more name calling from the safety and warmth of my car...."Douche bag!" Woops, forgot that Sam was in the worries though, he didn't learn "ass hole" and "douche bag" today.

"Mommy, that's silly. He's not a JUICE bag, he's a man!"

We finally got home, one hour and fifteen minutes after setting out...Sam ran into the living room and ratted me out. "Daddy, mommy called a man RASS hole. That's very bad, huh?"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am laughing so hard I almost wet myself. Juice bag! Hey, did you pop the cork on the ole wine bottle as soon as you got home?