34...really?

Do you remember when you counted the days till your birthday with much excitement and anticipation? I do. I also remember when I stopped. Twenty-one. In my mind, once I could legally buy my own alcohol, there was no need for another birthday. And yet they keep coming. Thirteen of them to be exact.

Today I turn 34 and somehow, that just doesn't seem possible. I just can't get over how fast all that time has gone. I can't believe that I can say things like:

"Remember that summer 20 years ago, the one before you moved to Virginia, when all those surfer boys in RI that we'd been dreaming about since 6th grade finally noticed us?" to my oldest friend, Jenn.

Or to my college roommate and dear friend Bethany, "Remember when we first met 17 years ago? You did such a great job curling my hair for prom." or "Remember when we moved into our dorm room 16 years ago? Remember Abraham and Isaac? That picture on your blog of Aaron and the boys reminds me of it. When they get a little bigger, you can do Shadrach, Meshach and Abedngo, I promise I won't drool."

Or to my best friend in high school Meg, "Remember 18 years ago when Mr. Francini bought us dates for the Snowball?"

Or to my little sister Michelle, "Remember when Jenn and I dyed your hair pink. Oh, you do? I would have thought that maybe after 21 years, you would have forgotten."

There are sad things too, like realizing that my friend Tom, who died before our Senior year of high school, has been gone for longer than he was alive. Or that it was 14 years ago today that my mother called me to tell me that my grandma had died.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not mourning the fact that I am getting older. Honestly, even if I could, I wouldn't want to be 21 again. My current life is so good. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children. While I have many of the same friends, I have many wonderful new ones as well. I'm closer to my parents and siblings and I have a deeper relationship with the Lord. I'm more comfortable with who I am. My life is more real.

Yet, I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that I am 34. The time has gone so fast, and I know that the next 20 years will likely go by even faster. In 20 years, our children will be grown. Our house will be empty. It sounds so far off, but it's not. So, my resolution today is to make the most of every single one of these crazy days that I have been blessed with. Twenty years from now, I hope that I will be able to look at Brad and say, "Life is so good. Fifty-four is perfect. I wouldn't go back if I could."