Friday, July 18, 2008

Thoughts on poop

Five years ago, if someone had told me that there would be a time when thoughts and conversations would be full of poop, laxatives and dirty underwear, I wouldn't have believed it. If someone had told me that I would someday stand in the bathroom with my finger in my sons butt trying to keep a suppository in place, I would have found it unimaginable. If someone had told me that there was such a thing as Potty School, I wouldn't have understood that it could ever really be necessary. But that's where I am. That's my life right now.

We are on day eight of "a healthy drink" (Miralax) and day two of a double dose. When we went to the doctor yesterday to get the staples out of Sam's head, he could not believe that Sam had not yet pooped. He'd never heard of anyone on Miralax being able to hold it that long. When I described the daily drama of Sam sitting on the toilet screaming at least ten times a day, he had no words of advice. When I told him I feel trapped in our house because Sam has "smears" in his pants fifteen times a day, he laughed at the fact that Sam calls it a "smear". When I expressed my concern that he is scaring Grace and that I am going to have the same issue with her when it comes time to potty train he agreed. He couldn't fix it though. He just told me to double the dose.

I don't know what to do. I don't know why he is so afraid. It's so irrational, but so real. He is truly terrified to poop on the potty. He thinks he's going to throw up. He says it hurts and that the toilet is too high. He acknowledges that nothing bad has ever happened when he's done it before, but it doesn't click.

Although I have a background in child development and psychology, and the doctor has assured me that I am doing everything right, I really fear that I am messing this kid up. I don't understand the block. I don't understand or know what to do with a little boy who will willingly trade his brand new two wheel bicycle and all of his favorite toys for a diaper and then never even ask to use them.

I feel awful. He's breaking my heart but I don't feel like I can back down. At this point, it's a huge power struggle and I am just as stubborn and determined to win as he. I also feel like I have a very slight advantage in that I am not the one walking around with ten days worth the poop in me....

So that's what we're up to. Fun huh?

7 comments:

Andi said...

oh my goodness. 10 days! poor kid & poor mama. i hope it happens soon.

Bethany said...

Oh Sarah, this will all be comical one day. You will look back and laugh. Although I know it is just awful now. I know you are frustrated and at wits end. I remember feeling the same with mine. I had poop smeared on walls and furniture (one liked to paint with his poo). One liked to clean it himself and made tons of messes. One hid on me and never responded and I was running around the neighborhood in my pj's with my baby screaming that I lost my little boy only to find him hiding to poop later. A neighbor had flagged down the police and Aaron left and was on his way home. It was awful. I had run around naked because I was told they would not poop in nothing....well he pooped in the backyard and got a kick out of the dog eating it. I tried everything that everyone said and NOTHING was working. It was soooo frustrating. I can't really say what the magic moment was. One day it just happened and now both are in underwear and the poopie and pee pee accidents are all just a distant blur of a memory. He won't be 10 pooping in his pants (and if he is....he probably has a legit reason why...hee hee)

I do hate potty training the most. It is my least favorite stage of motherhood. But rest assured. It will be over and probably soon considering his age. Hang in there. My kids never talk about their potty training experience so I am sure it is all forgotten to them. So I don't think you are going to scar him or Grace.

I will be praying the little guy poos on the potty.

Bethany said...

Ummmm I didn't run around naked.....hee hee. I had one of the boys run around naked

bethyoung said...

aww, I will remember to pray for him as well. I am sorry :-( I would think, though after a while won't the doctors make you come in and give him an enema or something? I just wonder how long it's ok to be that way? Poor guy! I hope that he gets it son....for his and your sake!

Michelle said...

uuuhhhhh..... wow....

Sarah said...

Bethany, I knew what you meant, but I did chuckle and imagine you running around the neighborhood naked so your boys wouldn't poop :)

Thanks for the encouragement everyone!

mindi said...

Hang in there - I haven't had it this bad (yet) but Hunter was STUBBORN and grabbed a diaper to poop in until he was 3. When he saw his 20 month old sister using the potty, he decided it would work for him. And he never looked back!
Good luck and this will be over before you know it (hopefully!)