Good Advice

"Mommy?  I think maybe you should eat slower so that the baby doesn't choke on all that food going into your stomach."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I think if you keep eating so much, so fast the baby is just going to get covered in all that food and choke."

Batteries and Pee

Grace is napping less frequently.  The fact that she can get out of her bed and play, or shake her door, is apparently much more enjoyable than sleeping.  I'm no longer able to just read her a story and then tuck her in and walk away.  Instead, we read three stories, I beg, I promise treats, we pray....sometimes it works.

The other day as I held her, she began to rub my breast and look at me longingly.  "Have some milk mommy?  Pwease?"

"Oh, sweetie.  Mommies milk doesn't work anymore."

To which she replied, "Get new batteries?"

Oh Grace, batteries don't fix everything!

I put her in bed and went to my room.  A few minutes later, I heard a door open.  Shoot, she figured out how to open her door!  Then I heard, "Oh hi Sam!"

I ran from my room and grabbed a groggy Sam by the arm.  "What the heck do you think you're doing?"  He said nothing.  He completely ignored me, walked into the hallway, turned and faced the wall and then pulled down his pants and peed in a basket of clean laundry.

Apparently, my son can make messes even when he's asleep.

I promise...

that we don't this nightly.  If the only thing different about Mac's and PC's was Photo Booth, it would be worth it!

Make sure you turn the blog music off so you can here the musical talent of Family Twinkle....

Change in plans....

"Mommy, I changed my mind about what I want to be when I grow up."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I'm going to be a dinosaur hunter instead."

Phew! No need for us to get long term care insurance or save for retirement...Sam will have no trouble paying our bills.

He knows me

At 8:00 this morning....

"Mom, it's your lucky day!"

"Why?"

"There are two beers in the fridge!"

"Drinkin' Beers"

Last night we grilled steak tips wrapped in bacon for dinner. As I came around the side of the house carrying a stack of plates, Grace proclaimed, "Mommy! Drinkin' Beers!"

and she was, sort of.

She managed to get a little taste. It took a second to decide if she liked it or not.

She did. Doesn't it look like she's on her 2nd or 3rd? I promise she only managed a tiny sip before

Brad took it away.
She didn't like that at all. She fought him for it.
When she lost, she pouted.
Then she started eating her feet.
Light weight.
Something tells me that I'm going to have to keep a close eye on this one for the next 19 years!

Big Rock on Your Head

The other day we were going to pick Sam's friend Andrew up from camp. As we drove past the cemetery Sam exclaimed,

"Mommy, look at that place with all the flowers! It's really beautiful!"

"Yes, it's pretty isn't it?"

"Yeah, it sure is. What is that place mommy?"

"It's a cemetery"

"Oh. What's a cemetery?"

"It's the place that they bury people when they die."

"WHAT?" (said with complete disbelief and like I was a little crazy)

"When someone dies, they put them in a special box and bury them in the ground."

"No. They can't do that to people. It's not nice."

"It's okay buddy, because the person isn't alive anymore. It doesn't hurt them."

"It doesn't hurt?"

"No, not at all."

We picked Andrew up and on the way home, as we drove by the same cemetery, Sam explained it to Andrew.

"Andrew. See that place with all the flowers? That the place they put you when you die. They just stick you in the ground and cover you all up with dirt. Then they put a big rock on your head."

To which Andrew responded,

"Does it hurt?"

It's no wonder she hates my camera...

When Grace sees me with my camera she says "Cheese!" and looks the other way.

It drives me crazy.

When I uploaded these the other day, I had an epiphany of sorts....
I'd probably hate cameras too...
if every single time I was in distress....
someone just stood there taking pictures.
Wouldn't you?

Will I stop?
Not likely.
This is eight minutes later when she was full recovered from this latest trauma.

Anita Coco

As we were sitting down for dinner the other night, Brad mentioned a woman that we know. Anita Coco.

Sam looked up from his chicken and rice with a hopeful expression on his face. "I need a cocoa too!"

Then yesterday U2's Beautiful Day came on while we were driving to the grocery store. I started singing.

"Mommy, how do you know this song? I never heard it before."

"Sam, this is U2. Quite possibly, the greatest band ever."

"Oh, it's about me? Is it about you too?"

Best Buds

Although Sam called him "Pooper" for a good year, Sam and Cooper are still best friends....

Turning Four

is sad

and scary
and lonely
and unpleasant
and hard.
Happy Birthday Andrew!

Dream Big

"Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a recycling man."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think being a garbage man might be too stinky."

And it's not even 8:00

While having breakfast this morning, Sam said "Mom, how about if we name another baby Lucy?"

"I like that name. Do you want mommy to have another baby?"

"Yes. I've never seen a baby get out of the mommy's tummy. I'd like to see that."

"Oh.....you would?"

"Yes. Mommy? How does the baby get out?"

I decided to tell him the truth.

"Well, God designed a woman's body to carry a baby and then give birth. When it's time for the baby to be born, the baby comes out of the mommies vagina."

"Wow! I never new a "gina" could get so big!" He said with disbelief.

"Yes, it gets big and then after the baby is born, it gets small again."

"Mommy? You know what? My swing set doesn't talk."

End of conversation. I love this kid.

I live in the Garden of Eden. Minus the Paradise Part.

Those of you who know me in real life, will look at these and without a doubt think, "Oh my goodness, she's just like her mother!"

It's true, the apple does not fall far from the tree. She gets her temper from me too.

And Sam? Well, he's a lot like me too. He really wanted to get, as Grace puts it, "nek".

But I wouldn't let him.

So he pouted.

What?

Doesn't everyone play with their Geo Trax naked?

This is what I found when I got out of the shower this morning. I have no idea how Grace managed to get out of her pajamas and onesie. Sam said he didn't help. I'm not sure if I believe him.

Like a pig in mud

"Mommy, know why I like pigs so much?"

"Why?"

"Because they love to play in the mud, just like me! That's why."

The negotiator

Are you okay, Gracie?

Please stop crying...I'll give the shovel back!
Look at the funny faces I can make! Please stop crying before mommy sees!
Tell you what, if you stop crying, I'll give you my dessert tonight. Okay? Deal?

New Words

Last week I mopped the kitchen floor.

While I was mopping, Sam (who will be 4 in about two months) came in and said, "Mommy, WHAT are you doing?".

I instantly realized that Sam has never seen me mop. Spot clean? Yes. Use a wet Swiffer? Yes. But use an old fashioned rag mop? Obviously not.

Pointing at the mop, I asked "Sam, do you know what this thing is called?".

His eyes opened wide as he vigorously shook his head no.

With a little bit of "I'm a bad housekeeper" guilt, I informed him that it's called a MOP.

He thought it was very cool and wanted to try it out.

Next week, I'm thinking about teaching him another new word. I'm going to show him the iron. In the event that he someday has to wear a pressed shirt to work, I'm sure his future wife will thank me.

I'm not frumpy

Tomorrow night, we are having dinner with Brad's business partner and his wife, at their home, with our children. While I've met Brad's partner, I have never met his wife. I'm not really nervous about meeting her, I'm sure we will get along fine. I do however, want to look nice (cool).

Tonight at dinner, I told Brad that I didn't know what I was going to wear because I broke the zipper on the one pair of stylish jeans that I own. Instead of telling me he would watch the kids tomorrow while I went shopping, he told me he liked the pants I was wearing and that I should wear them. I looked down at the baggy, mod podge stained, faded army green pants that were purchased at American Eagle five years ago and said, "I don't want to look like a frumpy mom".

Sam looked at me and said, "You're not frumpy mom."

"I'm not? What am I then?"

"You're just a mom."

Even though I'm sure he wouldn't recognize frumpy if it sat on his lap, I'm taking comfort in his words of assurance. I'm not wearing the army green pants though.

"Rosanna, He's Alive!"

That's what Sam has been singing for the last week. He is insistent that these are the correct words. Hosanna? No, "that's silly."

Nothing like a Cadbury Eggs for breakfast!

Ready for church!
Fondu...
is
SO
Good!
Meet the Easter Bunny!

AKA "scary monster"
AKA...Grandma

Hope that everyone had a wonderful day.